If you haven\u2019t read <\/em>The It Girl, don\u2019t worry, this scene doesn\u2019t contain any spoilers. If you have, I hope it might give you a deeper insight into the character of Hannah\u2019s husband Will.<\/em><\/p>\n It retells a key scene in the book from the point of view of my main character\u2019s husband. The scene takes place soon after they meet, at Oxford University, and in the book you only experience the events from Hannah\u2019s point of view, when she is not quite sure if Will likes her.<\/em><\/p>\n Will turned out to be a really hard character to get right. He\u2019s naturally reserved and plays his cards quite close to his chest, but I wanted the reader to have the sense that there was something potentially quite explosive lurking underneath his cool exterior. Sometimes, when I\u2019m finding it hard to get a handle on a secondary character, I rewrite a key scene from their point of view. Getting right inside their head seems to help me understand what makes them tick. In this extract I rewrote the poker scene, from Hannah\u2019s first night at Oxford, from Will\u2019s point of view. It was never intended to go into the book but I really liked how it turned out, and I thought readers might be interested to see a snippet of events from Will\u2019s perspective. This scene is the moment Will realises that he likes \u2013 really likes this strange new roommate of his friend April. <\/em><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”||||||||” text_text_color=”#ffffff” header_font=”|600|||||||” header_text_color=”#ef8fce” header_font_size=”35px” header_2_font=”||||||||” header_2_text_color=”#fff899″ header_2_font_size=”35px” global_colors_info=”{}”] It was April who suggested playing strip poker after the first bottle of champagne had disappeared. I wasn\u2019t exactly surprised, it had been her party trick at school \u2013 a slow strip tease with enormous panache, all the way down to some very fancy underwear. I remembered her at Liv\u2019s sixteenth birthday party, Closer<\/em> by Nine Inch Nails coming on Liv\u2019s iPod, and April getting up on the dining room table and beginning to unbutton her top while all the boys in the room whooped and hollered.<\/p>\n It was\u2026 I mean, I\u2019m not going to pretend. It was hot. April<\/em> was hot. Ok, I was with Liv at that point, but I could still look. Actually, I couldn\u2019t help but look. No-one could. When April took the stage, you pretty much had no choice. She drew the eyes of everyone in the room, whether you wanted to watch her or not.<\/p>\n No, it was the others who surprised me. Not so much Ryan, he looked like he played a lot of football and would have abs he wasn\u2019t shy about showing off. And Emily, well, she didn\u2019t seem the type to bow to peer pressure, but she also didn\u2019t seem like someone who would be embarrassed about taking off her bra. But Hugh \u2013 Hugh was a surprise. Actually a shock. Stiff, prudish Hugh was the last person I would have imagined agreeing to this. He tried to get out of it of course \u2013 muttering something about being tired, but April barked at him, and to my amazement, he sat back down.<\/p>\n The other surprise was April\u2019s room mate. Hannah. Hannah Jones. Her name tasted sweet and clean in my mouth, like an apple \u2013 a little bit of bite to it. I knew nothing about her, really, apart from her name, but I was still surprised when she said yes. I\u2019m not sure why. Perhaps it was because she didn\u2019t look\u2026 well, I don\u2019t know, really. I had put her down as shy, I think. Maybe it was her clothes, which were plain and kind of buttoned up \u2013 jeans and a cardigan done up almost to her throat, with just one tiny mother-of-pearl button open, showing the dip of her collar bone. Maybe it was the fact that she was so quiet at dinner, letting April do all the talking. Or maybe it was the way her eyes kept meeting mine and then darting away.<\/p>\n Whatever it was, she gave out an air of\u2026 reserve, I suppose would be the word. But she still said yes. And, I had to admit, she was one reason why I agreed to play. Maybe the<\/em> reason. There was something about her \u2013 about the curve of her cheek, about the creamy hollow of skin I could see just underneath that open top button of her cardigan. About the way her eyes met mine, and then looked away, and then when I let my gaze steal back to her, I would find her looking again. It was like an itch under my skin, the way I kept wanting to look, and look. And then our eyes met, it made something inside me quicken in a way it hadn\u2019t for a long time, probably not since I met Liv, if I was being honest.<\/p>\n Now, a couple of hours later, we were down to the final hands of the evening. Looking around the circle, I realised that someone was about to get naked \u2013 properly naked. And it might be me.<\/p>\n At least\u2026 that was what I thought. Until I picked up my cards and saw all four queens gazing back at me.<\/p>\n Hugh folded first thing, and took off his jeans, clearly mortified. I shot him a look of sympathy, and he gave a resigned shrug as if to say what can you do<\/em>. Emily and Ryan had good hands, both of them, and both had a garment to lose, and now they were bantering with the comfortable certainty of two people who know they\u2019re not going to be the ones getting naked this round, at least. As Ryan laid down his flush, April\u2019s eyes went to me and then, meaningfully, down at my lap, a wicked grin spreading across her face. But I didn\u2019t rise to it. Instead I smiled back. She might know that I had nothing left to lose but my boxers, but she didn\u2019t know what I had in my hand. Whoever was going to lose this round, it wasn\u2019t me.<\/p>\n And that\u2019s when I realised.<\/p>\n Hannah was down to her underwear too. If she lost, she was taking off her bra.<\/p>\n She looked across the circle at me, and although she was trying to keep a good poker face, I could see something like panic in her eyes. They were huge and dark, dilated with a mix of the joints we had smoked and trepidation about what was about to come.<\/p>\n She held the fan of cards out in front of her, and I could see that the tips were trembling, ever so slightly, and suddenly I knew. I knew that whatever she had, it wasn\u2019t enough. It wasn\u2019t going to beat Ryan\u2019s flush. It wasn\u2019t even going to beat Emily\u2019s three of a kind. And it definitely, definitely wasn\u2019t enough to beat the cards that I was holding.<\/p>\n Was she really going to do this? Were we just going to sit here and watch while she took off her bra?<\/p>\n I shifted, wishing suddenly that we\u2019d never started this game.<\/p>\n \u201cHannah?\u201d April said, a little purring note of mockery in her voice.<\/p>\n Hannah swallowed, I saw the convulsive movement of the muscles in her throat, and then she lifted her head with a kind of gallantry and tossed her chestnut-coloured hair back over her shoulder. The lace trim on her black bra was trembling with every heartbeat.<\/p>\n One by one, she began laying her cards out.<\/p>\n One three.<\/p>\n I felt sick.<\/p>\n Another three.<\/p>\n She opened her mouth. I knew what she was about to say \u2013 that that was it. That she had lost.<\/p>\n And then suddenly I knew. I knew I couldn\u2019t do this. I wanted \u2013 oh god<\/em> I wanted it \u2013 to see Hannah Jones unclothed, but not like this. Not her naked and mortified in front of a roomful of other students, with Ryan grinning in the corner and Hugh\u2019s eyes out on stalks. It would have been different if she were into it \u2013 loving the drama and the attention of the strip tease as April so transparently did. But Hannah clearly didn\u2019t want this end to the evening any more than I wanted it for her.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m out.\u201d The words came out of my mouth before I could think better of it. I let my cards drop to the floor, face down. \u201cI guess I\u2019ll be removing these.\u201d<\/p>\n I looked down at my boxers, and felt the heat rise to my cheeks.<\/p>\n \u201cHokay.\u201d Across the circle Emily stood up, brushing down the creases of her shirt. \u201cWell, that\u2019s quite enough of that as far as I\u2019m concerned. I have no desire to see anyone\u2019s meat and two veg.\u201d<\/p>\n I could have kissed her. If she hadn\u2019t been clearly far more interested in Ryan, I think I might have done it, out of pure gratitude..<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d April was clearly pissed off. \u201cYou must be joking!\u201d<\/p>\n But Emily was already getting dressed, and now Ryan stood too, obviously intent on getting as close to Emily\u2019s bedroom as he possibly could, or getting her as close to his, one or the other.<\/p>\n As I searched around for my jeans and belt, I could hear them bickering away, April calling everyone party poopers, Hugh making awkward small talk. I had only one goal in mind, getting my trousers safely back on, so I could check that Hannah Jones was ok.<\/p>\n \u201cI guess I\u2019ll call it a day too,\u201d she said now, rather softly. \u201cNight everyone.\u201d I looked up, and my heart skipped a beat. She had said everyone<\/em>, but she was looking directly at me.<\/p>\n Everything seemed to stop. My heart was thumping painfully. I want you. I want you<\/em>, I thought, desperately. Did she like me too? Was she trying to convey something with that clear, direct gaze? Or had she just realised what I\u2019d done, the fact that I\u2019d folded to save her? Was she trying to say thank you without dropping me in it, without saying outright that I\u2019d cheated?<\/p>\n \u201cNight, Hannah,\u201d I managed. My mouth was dry with nerves, and the words seemed to stick in my throat. Fuck. Fuck<\/em>. Say something else, idiot. Say something clever. Keep her talking. Don\u2019t let her go.<\/p>\n Too late, I realised that Hugh was speaking.<\/p>\n \u201c\u2026 you coming, Will?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIn a sec,\u201d I said, tersely, trying desperately to communicate my predicament to him. Leave me alone with her, but don\u2019t make me spell it out so I look like a total loser.<\/em> \u201cYou head over, I won\u2019t be long.\u201d<\/p>\n My hands were shaking with nerves, my fingers stupid as I tried to do up the buckle of my belt. What was I going to say to her? Do you want to go for a coffee some time?<\/em> But then what if she thought I was literally just asking for coffee? Did that matter? Or should I spell it out more clearly? What I wanted to say was, please let me kiss you, please come back with me to Cloade\u2019s, you\u2019re the most beautiful girl I\u2019ve ever met, I haven\u2019t stopped thinking about you all night, and I think I might be falling in love with you.<\/em> Ok, not the last part. That would be unbelievably stupid. But if I said any of that, even without the last part, she would probably chalk me up for some cheesy pick up artist. And if I said the last bit, she\u2019d have me arrested for a stalker. I just \u2013 I had to get rid of April somehow. If I said anything in front of her she\u2019d make it into a joke, and I didn\u2019t want that.<\/p>\n Night April,\u201d Hannah said now, and my heart began to beat faster. Yes, go to bed, April, I thought. I tried to catch Hannah\u2019s gaze, but this time she wasn\u2019t looking at me. She was looking at April, and her dark eyes looked sad, almost pleading, somehow.<\/p>\n \u201cNight Hannah.\u201d April\u2019s tone was cross and terse.<\/p>\n At her words, Hannah seemed to deflate. She turned and began walking towards her room, her crumpled shirt still clutched across her chest like a shield.<\/p>\n Fuck. No!<\/p>\n I took a step towards her. I wanted to say something, but I didn\u2019t know what \u2013 and somehow the sight of her walking away, her long bare legs, her dark hair swinging, the delicate furrow of her spine beneath the slim black strap of her bra \u2013 it was too much. The words dried in my throat.<\/p>\n \u201cHa-\u201d I began, my hand outstretched but either she didn\u2019t hear me, or she\u2019d had enough of the evening and just wanted to escape. She didn\u2019t stop. She didn\u2019t turn. Instead the door of her room slammed in my face.<\/p>\n I felt all the breath drain from my body. Fuck. I had missed it. I\u2019d missed my chance. And yet she did<\/em> like me, I was almost sure of it. Didn\u2019t she? Surely she did \u2013 wasn\u2019t that what all those missed glances were about, all those times I looked across to find her eyes already fixed on my face? Didn\u2019t that have to mean something?<\/p>\n But then \u2013 if she liked me, why hadn\u2019t she stayed? I had stayed for her \u2013 wasn\u2019t that clear enough in the way I had sent Hugh away? If she wanted something to happen, why had she run?<\/p>\n \u201cSubtle, darling,\u201d April said a little sourly from behind me. \u201cVery subtle.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d I turned back round, feeling a sudden rush of irritation at \u2013 at everything, really. At April, at the evening, most of all at myself. Why was I such a dick? Why hadn\u2019t I just come out and said it in front of April. I like you. Will you have coffee with me?<\/em> Why did I make this stuff so difficult?<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do I mean? I can see your boner through your jeans.\u201d<\/p>\n In spite of myself I laughed, not least because I knew it wasn\u2019t true. There had been a couple of nasty moments earlier in the evening, true, but I was more pissed off than turned on right now.<\/p>\n \u201cLiar,\u201d I said, but she could see I was smiling.<\/p>\n She came over to me, her hips swaying, still in her turquoise underwear, and in spite of myself I felt something quicken in the pit of my stomach.<\/p>\n \u201cSure?\u201d She put her hand down between us, the palm flat and against the buckle of my belt, sliding downwards. \u201cDo you want me to check?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOk, I like her. So what? We\u2019re not in prep school. You don\u2019t get to chase me round the field singing K.I.S.S.I.N.G. Is she available?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not completely sure,\u201d April said, thoughtfully. She was pressed up against me now, the stiff, nubbly embroidery of her turquoise bra rubbing against the bare skin of my chest. \u201cI think she said something about a boyfriend back home.\u201d<\/p>\n I was surprised at the stab of disappointment that her words provoked. A boyfriend. Of course. That explained everything \u2013 the frisson of chemistry \u2013 and then the firmly closed door. Anyone could feel temptation, I knew that myself from my days with Liv, but clearly Hannah wasn\u2019t about to let herself do anything about it.<\/p>\n \u201cI could be wrong,\u201d April was saying now, but her hand was slipping inside my belt, her fingers cool against my warm skin, and I was finding it difficult to concentrate on her words. \u201cIt might have been just a friend. I don\u2019t think she specifically said<\/em> a boyfriend\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n I shut my eyes, feeling her soft fingers seeking, seeking\u2026 and then finding. A breath shuddered out of me.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d April was saying. Her lips moved against mine as she spoke, and I could smell the sourness of the champagne on her breath. It was April\u2019s fingers that had closed around me, but the picture in my head wasn\u2019t April, it was of Hannah, Hannah\u2019s back as she walked into her room, and shut the door. Something inside me ached.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t need her,\u201d April was saying, and now my arms were around her, feeling her warmth, her presence, the heat of her skin. \u201cYou\u2019ve got better things to do than worry about her, darling.\u201d<<\/p>\n From somewhere far away, I heard the creak of a door, and for some reason my mind went to Hugh, but I remembered he had already left. It was probably just someone out in the corridor. I half tried to turn my head, but April\u2019s free hand was in my hair, bringing my lips down to hers, and now her tongue was in my mouth.<\/p>\n I gave in.<\/p>\n So what if Hannah Jones wasn\u2019t available, April was, and that was enough for tonight.<\/p>\n She twisted the handle of her bedroom door open behind her, and then she led me inside.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n <\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" If you haven\u2019t read The It Girl, don\u2019t worry, this scene doesn\u2019t contain any spoilers. If you have, I hope it might give you a deeper insight into the character of Hannah\u2019s husband Will.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2732,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"2880","footnotes":""},"categories":[175],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2731","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-it-girl"],"yoast_head":"\n*\u00a0 *\u00a0 *<\/h2>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” global_colors_info=”{}”]